Tag Archives: vision

5 Keys for Living the Life of Your Dreams

DEAR-DynamicIf you’ve been with me for a while, you’ve probably heard me talk about the BAR Theory where your beliefs shape your actions and your actions highly influence the results you attain in life.
This ‘new’ model reflects more recent things I’ve been studying about how life works: how to accomplish what you want without having to ‘force’ it or ‘make it happen’ through direct activity and hard work.

It all starts with your desire which is fueled by your emotion. But not the emotion you experience today about not yet having your heart’s desire (like frustration, disappointment, worry, etc.). But rather bringing into your experience TODAY, the emotion EXPECT to feel once you HAVE your heart’s desire. The key is feeling that joy NOW even without the presence of the thing you’re longing for. It’s a far more graceful (literally, full of grace) process that still gets the job done.

Here are 5 keys to living the life of your dreams:

1. Allow yourself to dream
It’s easy to get caught up in the fast-paced world in which we live, rushing from meeting to meeting, from job to family, from cooking, cleaning, and producing to bill paying, from driving to more driving and sometimes, from emergency to emergency. It feels like power and energy arise from some outside phenomena.

It’s critical though to carve out time to just be and be present: to relax, reflect, day dream,  meditate, pray, journal. Just feel yourself and the power within you. When we lead dramatically busy lives, it’s hard to find that quiet, knowing yourself sometimes.

Schedule it. Do it daily.

2. Listen to your heart (or your intuition or your inner voice or the VOG)
As soon as I heard the words, “feel the earth under my feet” this morning, I was ‘rewarded’ with a cash prize. OK, it was a small prize (a quarter), but how often to you find quarters on the ground, far away from any retail establishment where they may have been in motion?

You may have heard me share about another time I heard the VOG (voice of God) several years ago when I was sitting in a confernce room participating in a guided meditation, when the VOG told me, “You should make jewelry.” It was such a clear message, I immediately went out and started telling people I was starting a jewelry design business even though I had only ever made one pair of earrings in high school art class.

That turned out to be my first entrepreneurial venture and was so successful, it funded nearly a month in Africa (Tanzania and Zanzibar), exploring, safari-ing and living in “the bush” with the Maasai.

3. Be grateful for ‘what is’
When you feel frustrated because things aren’t going as planned, and you linger in that frustration, it just keeps the object of your desire at bay. The key is to appreciate the things that are already working in your life (even if you have to really hunt for them) and focus on them. You’ve probably heard, ‘What gets measured, gets managed”.

Here is an interesting quote, “Tell me to what you pay attention and I will tell you who you are.”  Jose Ortega y Gasset

Read more quotes on attention here. www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/pay_attention.html#6SWlWXb1hgGyKGRQ.99

4. Do good in the world.
Make it a practice to do everything you can to make the world a better place. Be kind. Recycle. Do no harm. Pay it forward. Help someone else. Live purposefully and conscientiously. Recognize you’re in a community and collaborate with those around you for the good of the community and its individual members. Stive to help people get their authentic needs met. Be a positive energy and voice in the the world. Be a part of the solution rather than harping on all the problems.

5. Expect things to turn out well.
Just last week, a dear friend shared this thought: “God responds to expectations, not prayers”. Not to knock prayers. I do pray, often. But there’s something about the certainty and knowingness of expectations that energizes you from the inside that warrants consideration. It’s the BAR Theory. If you expect things to turn out poorly, they likely will.

On a related note, Art Linkletter (am I dating myself here?) said, “Things turn out best for people who make the best out of the way things turn out.”

And I’ve always said, “We have more options than we generally see, and more control than we tend to take.”

Find More Focus, Make More Money, Enjoy Life More

Focus is defined as “a central point, as of attraction, attention, or activity.

I love that the first ‘focus’ is ‘attraction’! That connotes a purposeful flow of energy that arises when one is focused. When our attention is focused, I believe the Universe lines up to support our intention.

I’ll never forget all of the things that came to me when I started my first business, Laibon: Charms for the Soul™. It was a jewelry

design and retail company.

I won’t go into the entire creation of it, but here’s the short version. In a guided meditation, a voice said to me, in a very matter-of-fact tone, “You should make jewelry.”

I love jewelry and ALWAYS stopped by jewelry booths at art & wine festivals. So, even though I had only made one pair of earrings in high school art class, I said “OK” to the command in my head.

I left the session and immediately began telling people I was going to start a jewelry company and as a result, amazing things began to happen.

One person told me about a great place I could go near where I lived to take a class on how to make jewelry.

Another told me about a fabulous bead store, also close to my home.

A different person told me how to get started selling at the art and wine festivals.

An author shared with me his publications that rated the shows from the artists perspective and said which ones were retail sales winners and which to stay away from.

A hypnotherapist offered to put my first batch of creations on display at her kick-off-the-new-year workshop.

An attendee said “I LOVE your work. I’d pay more than that for these!”

A bead store sales person said “When you collect sales tax, immediately transfer it to a different account so you don’t spend all your earnings and then have nothing left to pay the quarterly taxes” (Great advice)

So, why is focus so important?

1. When you focus, you get excited.
Nothing robs your energy like not sitting around doing ‘whatever’. Once I got clear about my new venture, I was on a mission. Even though I knew next to nothing about making jewelry, I new I was on to something I loved and I was like an eager little child, all wild-eyed and bushy-tailed (where did that expression come from anyway?)

2. When you focus, it’s easier to make decisions
Procrastination often arises from confusion. So when the confusion is swept away, taking action is easy. Any other thing you could do becomes less desirable and drops to the bottom of the to-do list (if one even exists).

3. When you focus, the world lines up to support you
I recall the quote attributed to Goethe (that apparently may not have been truly his

Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back–
Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth
that ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans:
What you can do, or dream you can do, begin it;
Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.”

That jewelry company birthed my entrepreneurial spirit and paid for a 3 1/2- week trip for a safari in Tanzania and a week in Zanzibar.

So, take heed. Take a stand. Take action. Grab life and move forward.

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How to Master Your Psychology to Accomplish Your Goals

The primary reasons people don’t reach their potential has little to do with their circumstances and much to do with their personal psychology, the voices in their head that tell them what’s possible for them and what isn’t.

Seemingly well-equipped, well-put-together people sometimes struggle to manifest success. And you probably know or have heard of people who start with ‘nothing’ in life who rise to the highest levels of accomplishment.

What’s the difference between them? Their psychology.

Psychology manifests itself as thought patterns and habits repeated often enough to become automatic. They’re often formed by default in childhood and beyond as we observe and mimic authority figures.

Many of our thought patterns are deigned to safeguard our habits to help us be more efficient and save us time and energy. (Think about the way you habitually shower, brush your teeth and start and operate your car.) If we had to think about each of the individual actions involved at every juncture, we’d exhaust ourselves.

The problem arises when the thought patterns and habits outlive their usefulness or when they are created based on mis-information, solving a problem that doesn’t exist. If you’ve ever made a bad, inaccurate assumption and then acted on it (perhaps for years), that’s a good example of this dynamic at work.

So what’s a body (or mind) to do?

1. Identify the beliefs you have that make you fearful, hesitant and reluctant to take action.
This might take some work since we’re not aware of some of our beliefs and may not have articulated them before. Start listening to the conversations you have about yourself, to yourself as well as the conversations you have about the world.

When you start hearing refrains, things you say over and over, that’s a belief.

2. Challenge what you think
Beliefs are like cow paths. The more you go down them, the more they seem like the only way to go. Don’t assume everything you think is the truth. Practice thinking new thoughts.

3. Recognize that your mind is designed to protect ‘the way it is’
Your thoughts will tend to dissuade you from trying new things. Know that this is a signal that you’re on the right track. Your brain wants to keep things simple and new thoughts and behaviors appear as a threat.

4. Surround yourself with optimistic, supportive people
We rise to the level of the company we keep. If you’re surrounded with pessimistic people who are victimized by the world they inhabit (and have unknowingly created), it will be hard to do the things you need to do to make progress.

When you hang out with successful people, you’re encouraged to be your best (rather than blame the world for your problems). You’ll have access to more and better resources. You’ll be inspired instead of depressed. You will experience a greater sense of possibility and be more likely to try new things. You’ll set goals and actually believe you can accomplish them.

5. Run when you can and tread water when ‘life’ kicks you in the butt.
Optimistic attitude or not, sometimes bad, annoying and troublesome things happen. During those times, you’ll need to apply your full attention to solving the issues at hand.  When you’re not encumbered by those emergencies though, work diligently toward your goal. Invest your time on the most productive activities you can muster, especially those that frighten you. Do at least one thing every day that will get you closer to your goal that you’re afraid of doing.

Miracles happen just outside your comfort zone. So make it a habit to consistently step outside yours.

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5 Ways to Stay on Track toward Your Purpose, Vision and Goals

In order to live a truly fulfilling life, it’s important to know and fulfill your life purpose. If you are happy, you are likely are living your purpose, even if you’re not consciously aware of what it is.

If you’re feeling even a teensy bit thwarted, aimless or frustrated, either your vision and purpose aren’t leading you or you’ve encountered some temporary obstacle that’s blocking you.

Here are 5 practices that can help keep you on track

1. Start writing down your dreams and set an intention for them before you go to sleep each night.

For most of my life, I’ve been a vivid dream ‘rememberer’. Earlier this year, they started fading away too quickly for me to retain them.  A month or so ago, I started a dream journal.

Writing down even glimpses tells your conscious brain you want to recall your dreams. So it makes more of an effort to transfer the images, thoughts and feelings from your subconscious where the dreams reside, to your conscious, waking brain that thinks and ‘verbalizes’ your thoughts.

Now I’m more able to recall them more easily and tap into that subconscious part of me that knows and yearns for more.

2. Read books that inspire you and help you connect to your higher Self.

I’m currently reading The Four Spiritual Laws of Prosperity: A Simple Guide to Unlimited Abundance by Edwene Gaines.  I read a bit each day and share it with my husband. I’m also reaching the end of a year-long self-study program called, A Course in Miracles. I’ve gone through it several times since first discovering it in 1981 and my perspective always expands with each journey.

3. Start each morning out with some time for reflection.

Before starting work, I sit down with another journal inspired by Conversations with God. In it, I ask for guidance on both general and specific issues I’m facing.  I’ll even ask for direction on areas I should be thinking about but aren’t at the moment. I’m always amazed by the ideas that pop into my head and the words that flow out from my fingers as I write.

4. Review your life for your gifts, lessons and themes.

Many decades ago (am I really that old?!?!?), I was exposed to a program called “You Are What You Were When…”. It was based on the presumption that what was going on in the world when you became a teenager shaped your perspective and values.  It was the predecessor to the generations work that has being written about for the last several years.

One of the key ideas put forth is that from a very early age, each of us has been expressing our gifts and passions and that if we just look back at how we spent our time and energy, themes would arise that would clarify the path we’ve been on all the while.

5. Choose, commit and act

As you do the other four outlined here you bring ‘control’ into your life.  ‘Choose’ your focus even if one was handed to you from above.  Some people ignore those messages.  If you are to live a purposeful life, you must choose to do so.  Then take action – daily – consistent with your vision, purpose and personal gifts.

Keep in mind this quote from Wayne Dyer, “Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.”

Why You Need Independence and Interdependence to Be a Highly Effective Leader

Today’s effective leader must demonstrate both a sense of independence from traditional thinking as well as an interdependence with her or his community in order to cause change.

We’re just celebrated Independence Day in the States. In addition to the picnics, barbeques and fireworks, it’s a holiday that honors our forefathers for breaking away from Great Britain.

Here are some critical reasons why as a leader, you need to exhibit independence AND interdependence.

The case for independence…

1. Leaders must be ahead of the pack in order to lead. This requires courage and the willingness to stand out.

2. Leaders aren’t content with the status quo. They must be willing to buck conventional wisdom and act with independence.

3. Leaders must make tough decisions. Sometimes their decisions will be unpopular, but if they are the right decisions, the leaders must stand by them.

4. Leaders set high standards. They don’t succumb to mediocrity nor people’s excuses for ‘why it can’t be done’. They raise the bar on performance levels for all around them including their own.

The case for interdependence
1. No leader, no matter how capable, can bring about their big vision all by themselves. They need the support and commitment of others to make their ‘dream’ come true.

2. Leaders instill loyalty by caring for other people and demonstrating concern for their welfare. As John Maxwell said, ‘People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care‘.

3. Leaders create community, bonding people together for a cause greater than their personal and individual wants and needs. In community, people can accomplish miracles that otherwise would not be possible.

4. By definition, leaders need other people. One can’t ‘lead’ if there is no one TO lead.

Therefore, leaders are dependent on the presence of others to make possible and real their leadership role. It’s not approval they’re seeking but without other beings, there is no possibility to express leadership. Therefore, they are dependent on others to experience their Self-as-Leader and Leader does not exist.

Leaders must be competent functioning in both domains, courageously independent bucking the trend while at the same time operating interdependently with others to make magic happen.